Wednesday, January 28, 2009

"Hel-LO God! It's Me, the Mother of a Toddler"

Hey All!  Just taking a break from the storytellin'.  I am quite open to criticism so please do alert me if you think it's crap, needs improvement, etc.  I welcome the input.

On to more pressing matters. The mothers' curse has officially been fulfilled so all of you out there yet to bear children are off the hook.  The curse has come down on me 100 fold with little Troll #3. She is 17 months old and while I know it's not uncommon for a toddler's vocabulary to consist of one word ("NO!"), I have NEVER had a child that has a "look."  I am 38 years old and have EARNED my "look."  "The look" is notorious for all who know me....BUT this little package o' love has developed her own little "look" in less than a year and a half.  Those pretty little brown eyes squint ever so slightly and the brow furrows ever so gently and yet nothing is said. Well there is no reason to say anything, is there?  That "look" says it all!  It says, "I have not yet begun to make your life miserable."  It says, "You are nothing but a plaything, Mother."  It says, "Yes, well, let's see how you sleep later tonight, shall we?"

... sigh... Don't get me wrong.  She is beautiful.  She is funny.  She is smart and happy.  But the child has a set her own standard of living and by God she will have it!  Take for instance her latest word- "Lo."  Now for clarification, a "Lo" is a phone as in "Hel-LO."  God forbid you or I or Jesus Himself should speak on a LO in her presence and not allow her to say "LO" as well, after which she says "Bye bye!" and hangs up the phone. ( In all fairness, it does keep my anytime minutes in check.)  In order to quell her need for my cell phone, I bought her a play cell phone of her own.  Evidently, she is looking for something with a touchscreen because Fisher-Price isn't cutting it.

So, you can see my circumstance.  I thought I was fearful with my first troll.  I thought I was cautious with my second.  With this one, I am neither.  I am going for damage control and I'm starting by never letting her see my credit cards...

Thanks for letting me rant...and thanks for reading my story too.

Sunday, January 25, 2009


Part 5

Lipstick and mascara smeared May's little face. She had kicked off her heels and plopped down on the damp grass. Segments of over-sprayed hair flopped in the breeze as she brushed away stray leaves on her mama's grave. Tears thick with makeup fell on her pink skirt.

"I know you said he'd do this Mama. You said he was up to no good. You said he'd screw anything with a pair of tits and you were right. I'd never have said it while you were alive but I'd say anything now to have you here (sob). Oh Mama, what in the hell am I gonna do now?"

May wiped her tears and snot with the palm of her hand and then on her skirt. She ran her fingers through the thick sod surrounding her mother's grave.  The lines from the recently laid rolls were still visible around the stone. Absently, she picked a blade of grass and spilt it down the middle. With her tiny stature and bare feet she looked more like a small child than a married woman. Then as if she remembered something she read in Cosmo she said,

"Guess what Mama? You're gonna be a Mee Maw! I took one a' those pee-on-a-stick tests a few days ago. I was waitin' to tell Curtis until the weekend. We were gonna go to that restaurant down by the lake, you know, the one where you can get fish food outta the gum ball machines and feed the catfish? Now, well, I have no idea what to do."

She ran her hand along the stone above her mother's grave.

"I'm glad I paid extra for this stone. It looks so nice. You deserved it. Daddy wanted to go with the smaller one but since I was payin' for it he let me do what I wanted." May put her hand in her lap and continued, "He misses you so much, Mama. Oh, he goes on about his day. He still meets his buds down at the Krystal every morning and makes sure the yard looks nice an' all... but he misses you so bad."

The breeze picked up and May shoved her loose locks behind her ears. The trees, waving the few leaves left on their branches, vibrated against the dark sky of the oncoming storm.  The beauty momentarily diverted May's attention.

"I'm sorry I haven't visited before now. It's just that I didn't feel like you were here, you know, in the ground. But I didn't know where else to look for you and I needed to talk to you. I haven't felt you with me. At the funeral, all those stupid people told me that you weren't really gone... that you'd be with me where ever I went. Well, I can tell you that ain't true... But this baby's with me, Mama. He's with me all the time." She put her left hand over her stomach and added, "No, I don't know what it is yet, but I feel like it's a boy. Poor thing! What a great role model he has for a daddy, huh?"

She felt the first drop of the autumn storm on her arm and turned to look at the clouds again. "Looks like I'd better get. The rain's comin'." She grabbed her shoes by the straps and stood wiping her butt of loose grass and leaves. For a moment, she stood there in front of the stone lost in the carved words and dates. And then, heaving a big sigh she said, "Well, Mama, I'm glad I came here. I guess I know where to find you now...." and blinking back tears as the rain began to fall she added, "I miss you a lot."