Wednesday, January 28, 2009

"Hel-LO God! It's Me, the Mother of a Toddler"

Hey All!  Just taking a break from the storytellin'.  I am quite open to criticism so please do alert me if you think it's crap, needs improvement, etc.  I welcome the input.

On to more pressing matters. The mothers' curse has officially been fulfilled so all of you out there yet to bear children are off the hook.  The curse has come down on me 100 fold with little Troll #3. She is 17 months old and while I know it's not uncommon for a toddler's vocabulary to consist of one word ("NO!"), I have NEVER had a child that has a "look."  I am 38 years old and have EARNED my "look."  "The look" is notorious for all who know me....BUT this little package o' love has developed her own little "look" in less than a year and a half.  Those pretty little brown eyes squint ever so slightly and the brow furrows ever so gently and yet nothing is said. Well there is no reason to say anything, is there?  That "look" says it all!  It says, "I have not yet begun to make your life miserable."  It says, "You are nothing but a plaything, Mother."  It says, "Yes, well, let's see how you sleep later tonight, shall we?"

... sigh... Don't get me wrong.  She is beautiful.  She is funny.  She is smart and happy.  But the child has a set her own standard of living and by God she will have it!  Take for instance her latest word- "Lo."  Now for clarification, a "Lo" is a phone as in "Hel-LO."  God forbid you or I or Jesus Himself should speak on a LO in her presence and not allow her to say "LO" as well, after which she says "Bye bye!" and hangs up the phone. ( In all fairness, it does keep my anytime minutes in check.)  In order to quell her need for my cell phone, I bought her a play cell phone of her own.  Evidently, she is looking for something with a touchscreen because Fisher-Price isn't cutting it.

So, you can see my circumstance.  I thought I was fearful with my first troll.  I thought I was cautious with my second.  With this one, I am neither.  I am going for damage control and I'm starting by never letting her see my credit cards...

Thanks for letting me rant...and thanks for reading my story too.


Eudea-Mamia said...

Oh, the "look." My neice had it down pat at that age as well. My brother loved coming home from work, only to be "dismissed" in one gaze.

Little turkeys.

Louise said...

If this is your first child to have "the look" finely honed, you are lucky. My second was born with it. And I met a 5-day-old on Friday, a boy, no less, and his was even better than my daughter's was at birth.

HOWEVER, the requiring of the REAL phone at 18 months is ground-breaking, and you should be VERY FRIGHTENED!! Don't hide your credit cards. But them in the vault!

texasholly said... third is a whole new level of maintenance as well. Obviously God made them super cute so we would put up with the torture.