Sunday, September 12, 2010

Yeah, I'm Here...


I haven't been here in a while but I think that I still know my way around. I've missed blogging but the internet has had to take a back seat for many moons now. You know... life and whatnot.

I haven't been able to follow my favorite blogs (which I miss terribly) and I haven't been able to write, not even for my fiction blog, Streak O Lean. I haven't written anything, not even a thank you note. Why do I go through these times? Why is it that sometimes it's so hard to get words down on paper? Now my mind hasn't been a great big blank all of these months, but having the words in my head and stopping to write them can be such an ordeal. The truth of the matter is that my life moves far too fast. I just can't seem to catch up.

What I wonder, however, is what would happen if I did "catch up"? What does "caught up" look like? Has anyone ever actually done it (Martha Stewart, you can lower your hand... sigh!)? I really tend to beat myself up for not having reached the "caught up" status, but paradoxically, I know that it doesn't exist really. So why do I insist on keeping it on the horizon? I think it's because it's a convenient excuse. It's the reason I give to others, and most importantly, to myself for not being the best that I can be. It's an excuse with which just about any wife, mother, sister, friend can identify. "I am just too busy!" "I'll do that when I have time." "I wish there were more hours in the day." "Not now! Mommy's really busy."

Just reading those phrases makes me feel tired and worn out.

So "catching up" must be a state of mind. I suppose if I just let go of the notion that there is no end to the things that need to be done in life, I might relax. If I would just accept that life is one cycle after another, maybe those phantom finish lines in my head would vanish. Perhaps I wouldn't go straight from mundane task to mundane task trying to keep everyone happy. Maybe.. just maybe.. in the mayhem, I could carve out time to write, read, quilt, and play with my kids; to be at the helm of my own ship instead of playing first mate.

Well there you have it, my blogging friends, another destination! Another course on which to set sail. I just hope that I remember that the world is round.

4 comments:

ethelmaepotter! said...

Oh, is it round?

I've missed you terribly, so I'm happy to hear it's nothing more than LIFE getting in the way. Same thing's happening to me, and I'm seriously about to go VERY part-time in my blogging. I haven't TOUCHED my novel (barely finished chapter four) since May, and I'll have to reread everything I've written in order to catch up on it.

Remember when we were promised that computers would simplify our lives and give us more time for leisure activities? HAH!!!!

yogurt said...

I have no idea what caught up feels like. Nada. Never felt it. Never will, is what I'm thinkin'. Life holds too many fun diversions.

Stacie said...

Ethelmae and yogurt, you guys always come back to see what crazy crap I am writing even when I haven't been around for a few months. I really appreciate you both!

Ethelmae, get writin' girl!

slow panic said...

why are you blogging when you could be hanging out with me?

why are you quilting when you could be hanging out with me?

most importantly why are you spending time with your children when you could be HANGING OUT WITH ME.