Why Do I Do These Things?!?

I do a lot of stupid things, some of which I attribute to being overworked, exhausted, stressed to breaking point, lack of personal time and space, etc. But then there are really just plain ol' stupid, lights on-no one home, things. I thought I'd share some of them with you...

1. Why do I think that I can go into a Target and get only that which I need, i.e., toilet paper, vacuum bags, batteries, etc.?

2. Why do I rationalize going into Target for said items by saying to myself that Target is so much cheaper than the supermarket when I have never even bothered to see what I pay for these items?

3. Why do I have a serious compulsion to buy things at Target when they have those little orange markdown stickers even if I don't need them or have a place for them?

4. Why can I not leave Target without spending $100 on ...well, I don't know what I bought...where's that receipt?

5. What is so attractive about a red bullseye?

(okay, no more Target)

6. Why do I go into restaurants where they have TVs and sit there, mouth open, staring at a stupid screen that I cannot hear showing some sports event I couldn't care less about? I barely watch my TV at home....what gives?

7. Why do I still judge a book by it's cover knowing full well that photoshop and a crafty publisher can make the worst written crap look good?

8. Why do I bring that glass of Diet Coke to bed with me each night only to wake up to a full glass of flat Diet Coke on my nightstand the next morning?

9. Why do I still think, after being late to just about everything in my life, that I can get out bed and get ready 15 minutes before I have to leave the house?

10. Why do I buy self-help books when clearly they are not working?


Just being a little introspective this evening...Gotta go now. It's bedtime and I haven't poured my Diet Coke yet.

Love to all!

Tony at Work

I wanted to answer Phd in Yogurtry's question in the comments but I couldn't post the pictures there. I found these on the internet (I don't keep a lot of Tony's art on my computer because the way he scans in his art makes the images huge for printing..yada yada yada). These images are small and I tried to make them bigger sorry..Here's Tony actually doing work.



Here's an example of his work. This is a nice cover because the guy who poses for the man character in Ex Machina is married to the character in the background in real life. Just the prettiest people you'd ever like to meet and so nice too.



I wish that I could match up some photos with the art but that would require my going into his studio and I make it a point to NEVER go into his studio.

Living with THE ARTIST

Hi All! I am married to an artist...for those of you who are not married to an artist you might think that this is fun and interesting...and yes, it is. BUT (of course there's a BUT!)being married to a comic book artist can drive you right to the door of the looney bin! Not a problem, I am quite familiar with how to get there.

I guess I am lucky because I "get" to stay at home with my kids but that also means I "get" to stay home with my husband too. My husband's work is VERY photorealistic and that means he takes lots of photos of lots of people doing lots of crazy expressions and poses (don't worry, nothing kinky). He knows that I H*A*T*E his taking pictures of me and that if he does I will NOT make stupid expressions...For example...

Here he is very threatening...



and here he has made himself a homeless dude...yes, his hat says "Smart Ass White Boy." Heeyyyy! That's my vintage quilt he's dragged outside!



and this is one of my favorite pics!



and now for the action shot!



This makes for very interesting conversation at neighborhood get togethers...except ALL of my neighbors are in his comic books. One actually has a fan base. I'll bet if I brought her to conventions fanboys would line up to see who poses for Amy Angotti in Ex Machina (yeah, that's one of his books...no, I don't read it either).

Good Lawd! I was just looking back at one of those pics and my floor is NAST-EE! OCD aside, he has been known to bargain with me for photographs. NOT THOSE KIND OF FAVORS! GEEZ! Well, not all the time anyhow...

So, fair warning, should our paths ever meet, you might have a camera stuck in your face by a bearded crazy man shouting "A NEW FACE! Gimme mad, no I mean REALLY mad...okay, now act like your climbing stairs, do you know how to hold a gun? Don't worry, it's not real."

This post is like my ultimate payback for all the pics he's conned me into or just taken without asking. On the downside, he knows I'm posting them and he doesn't care. Well, I had fun anyhow.

Look What I Can Do!!

Do any of you watch Mad TV? I LOVE those skits that have Stewie and his mom...he's a grown man, usually in tighty whities running around like he's six years old saying "Look what I can do!!" For those of you who know the skit you will more than likely laugh...for those of you who do not, well I just hope you come back to my blog sometime. I have some bizarre tastes in comedy...

Anyhow, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!! Finished this scarf last night...

BOOK PLUG!!! Within the Shadows by Brandon Massey

I just finished this book. Very scary! It takes place here in my own backyard (Middle Georgia) and there were times when I turned on more lights in my bedroom, if ya know what I mean. It is graphic in both violence and sex but I really enjoyed the story line and the way this guy writes. It's the story of a young mystery/crime writer who is looking for Ms. Right and definitely finds Ms. Wrong...mix in a few ghosts, a strained relationship with his dad, and some good friends and Voila! Instant entertainment. Loved it! This is my first read by this author and I would pick up something of his again. (Is it me, or am I into the horror/thriller genre lately?)

Back on the WA WA...

Today I started back on Weight Watchers...I don't know why I think it will work this (the billionth) time. Actually, it always works...I just quit after a few months. I do have to say that I never gain more than half back, so I figure by the time I am 92 years old I will be the exact weight that I imagine I should be. Damn! I'll look good then!

What bothers me most about being overweight is the impact I may have on my daughters. I try never to say anything disparaging about myself around my children and I try not to make it everyone's business that I am counting points or limiting the Oreos (ahhh Oreos...). But what message am I sending to them that I am not even aware of? I don't exercise and the fact that I am overweight must send some message...You know, if everyone just realized that I am a goddess, things would be a lot easier!

And then there's the BATHING SUIT ISSUE!!! I had to go and buy one this year. Last year I was pregnant and didn't give a rat's you-know-what what I looked like...and never felt more beautiful...what kind of sense does THAT make? So I picked the least of the five evils that I tried on at Macy's and went to the pool. It's a really cute suit and considering that I am overweight, I am happy with it. I am hoping my positive attitude takes care of some of the less obvious physical flaws.

Besides, my 8 year old little girl thinks I am beautiful in it and that's what matters to me.

BOOK PLUG! THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR

Hey Guys. Just wanted to add a book plug here for The House Next Door, by Anne Rivers Siddons. I found it to be somewhat horrifying and a good read all in all. It's about a house that has a life of it's own with decidedly dark intentions. I recommend it. It's not a lifechanging book or one that you'll find on a University's Great Books list but it's very fun if you like the "It was a dark and stormy night..." kind of thing. You can find the book cover on the left of the page. If you click it, it will take you to Amazon for a better description.

Shitbird and Other Term s of Endearment

Let me go ahead and apologize for the language up front...First and foremost, I think cursing is beautiful form of self expression (thank Jesus my kids don't know about this blog or I would be so eating crow). In our home, Tony and I have a term of endearment for all beings under our roof...Shitbird....say it, it's fun to say...Shitbird...We also say things like "Are you on the Crack Rock?" when the kids do stupid things (yes, don't cringe, we also use the word stupid). We use words that are appropriate for the situation. There's no candy-coating in this domicile!

After surfing the blog world, I decided that I will not be hesitant to talk like I do all the time...that includes some language that some may find offensive. So here's the disclaimer:

THIS BLOG MAY CONTAIN SITUATIONS

OR LANGUAGE INAPPROPRIATE

FOR SMALL CHILDREN.

PARENTAL SUPERVISION IS ADVISED.

Okay, now for my rant...

So I'm doing laundry the other day (notice I did not say that I "did" the laundry the other day because it doesn't ever end! There's a 4' X 4' area of my kitchen floor that hasn't seen the light of day in years due to the pile in front of my washer and dryer. I just mop around it...when I mop), and I notice that there's a shirt of my 13 year old son's on top of the pile that I JUST put in his room to be put away, i.e., it was clean! Okay, he's 13 and was careless...So I put it in the washer to wash it AGAIN and I go to grab the next item and it's CLEAN!!! As is the next and the next...Now I am PISSED for two reasons:

Number one, the f**king clothes are CLEAN and I so LOVE doing the damn laundry. I have a freaking Bachelor of Science in Engineering and Masters Degree in Public Administration but LAUNDRY is my preferred occupation! When I was given the chance to be a stay-at-home-mom and leave the workforce, LAUNDRY was all I could think about. I didn't have to wait anymore until AFTER work to do the LAUNDRY...I could do it all day long! For those of you who work, try not to be jealous. Oh! It couldn't have been my 8 year old girl's LAUNDRY. It had to be my son's laundry which is saturated with little boy STINK....mmmm...mmm..Sarcasm aside, I wanted to wring his newly-adorned-with-an-adam's-apple neck.

Number two, if you're gonna put clean clothes back in the laundry instead of putting them in your drawer, at least wait a few days to walk the 100 or so steps back to the kitchen (instead of the three to your drawer) to put them back in the pile...I might second guess myself and consider the fact that perhaps you wore them and I didn't notice...AND, UNFOLDING THEM WOULD BE SMART!!!! SHITBIRD! SHITBIRD! SHITBIRD! Not only did I give birth to a 10 lb 3 oz sloth, but a dumb ass one at that.

13 year old son does his own LAUNDRY now... Thanks for letting me rant...

Things I Do While Ignoring Housework and BIlls

Hi All! Just wanted to post some pics of the beginning of the pirate quilt I am piecing/quilting and the blanket I am knitting... I am appliqueing the pirate flags and those damn skulls have tiny little teeth...Remind me to slap the %$@*!& outta Blackbeard! The fella in the pic is Jack Rackham and as you can see his teeth are in need of sewing and braces wouldn't hurt either...He'll be lucky if he ever sees his top teeth...

What a Warm Welcome!! Thank You Everyone!

You Guys are so nice to welcome me! I had been toying with the idea for sometime but telling someone you are blogging and actually having people LOOK at what you are writing always made me feel...well, it's kinda like one of those dreams where you are naked in some bizarre public place....I guess that would be a nightmare for everyone involved. HA! Anyhow, thank you and look forward to reading about everyone..

Living Downtown

Note: I posted this on an old website that I was having problems with. It speaks a lot about who I am so I decided to repost it here.

I have to say that living downtown in a southern city does have it's perks. My husband and I call it "porch time." Our home has a big white (It's actually kind of gray with wood tones due to lack of paint.) wrap-around porch with one of those vintage metal porch couches. The cushions are old and are full of pollen and what ever else is airborn at the time. Comfy enough to sit on but old enough not to care if a kid spills Kool-Aid.

Every afternoon, more or less, Tony and I have cocktails on the porch and play some board or card game. Ah 5 o'clock! The magic hour when everything seems right in the world. The birds are chirping, the bees are buzzing, the mosquitoes are biting, children are fighting over whose turn it is to do whatnot, and everyone in the neighborhood is out of the house after a busy day to see who's out and about. Usually, we all end up on someone's porch to either celebrate or commiserate about the events of the day. Once the time changes and the days are longer, bedtimes in my house seem to go right out the window because we usually are "visiting" until at least 8 o'clock. Who cares! School will be out soon and at least the little trolls aren't sitting on the couch zoning into Cartoon Network land.

We're very lucky. We have everyday in our neighborhood that which most only have on weekends. If you're in the suburbs, that might be never.

Speaking of Pirates...

Okay, I am typing on this stupid (please, no offense to mac users) mac laptop and I keep hitting all of the wrong buttons so my blog today may look a little inebriated. This, unfortunately, does not reflect on the blogger... I am,however, completely responsible for all misspellings. I would use spell check but I become too horrified at how efficiently I mutilate the English language... When I get back to my pc, all will be right with the world.

Alright, back to pirates...My husband's illustration studio is call Jolly Roger Studio. Needless to say, we're big pirate fans.
Everything is skull and crossbones in our lives, from home decor to personal accessories (even to the dismay of some who think I am too old to wear headbands with pink skull and crossbones on them). I am, as we speak...I mean, blog.., making a pirate quilt for my dearly beloved for his 40th birthday. The book mentioned in the last book plug is firing the inspiration. I am really excited and will post pictures as soon as I figure all this bloggedy blog blog crap out.

BOOK PLUG! Pirates Make Me Feel all Warm and Fuzzy!!

I am presently reading "Silver, My Own Tale as Written by Me with a Goodly Amount of Murder" by Edward Chupack. My family is BIG into pirates and this book is a blast! It's basically the life of Long John Silver as written by himself after he is captured. It has about 100 gallons more blood than Treasure Island and gives a really good look at the sea dog eat sea dog world of pirates. So me hearties, drop yer landlubbin' ways and set sail!